Destination: “I’m on a Boat”

Inspiration: Audrina Patridge was in Sydney recently and said: “Hiii…. When I was in Sydney we took a cruise around the harbor which is beautiful and also went to Bondi beach and had lunch at iceberg which was amazing!!!!”

Actualization: I haven’t even made the boat yet. I’m sitting here at the airport trying not to cry. I can’t really because everyone’s laughing at me. I’m wearing a santa hat I got at Sluttingham Palace last night. Slutttingham palace was described to me by a 22-year old girl as a place “owned by 3 old guys (um 35) who had parties to get girls.” She also thought I was 24. I’m thinking it was the hat, so I’ll keep it on and be 24.

My story: “I went to Sluttingham Palace and all I got was this Santa hat.” I actually got this sweatshirt too. I took it from the Sluttingham closet. New favorite out of business brand favored by the kings; Fake London Genius.

In the attempt to fulfill Audrina’s moment, the following has commenced…so far: 24 hours in Melbourne (even when I write it I say BORN, but for you Americans, the accent is on the MEL I’ve been told too many times now). I had a flight booked for noon to get to Sydney and go on a sunset boat ride. Woke up in my clothes from the night before and ran around throwing clothes in bags with a confetti sprinkle trailing me. If you aren’t going to be a slut at the palace at least create a costume I went in the bathroom as a confetti trail was falling out of my bra but the Santa hat was staying put. I grabbed Janae and we rushed out for the airport. Janae told me about 17 times. “Angie, I’ll drive you just get me directions to the airport.” I tried a Google search but it seemed easier to ask. We got three sets of directions and next thing you know we are in Dungaroo something, 40 minutes from the airport. Australians are the worst at directions…not only cabbies or people on the street. It’s the entire population. Serious.

I arrived to the airport 20 minutes after my flight standing about a mile from Jetstar’s check-in. I pulled my bags across 4 times before booking another flight on Virgin Blue. Note to self. Book Virgin Blue from now on. My blackberry had died and my shoes were falling off. I could feel eyes on me from all directions. Watching me lug bags in a Santa hat, wine-stained green dress, blue sweatshirt, smeared makeup and foofy hair. People smiled, pointed, laughed, or just hummed christmas songs at me. I wasn’t taking the hat off because it was the only thing keeping me from crying. I booked another flight. Bought a charger. I was able to stall the boat and get a later pickup thanks to the 911 trick. I didn’t believe it worked but had heard if you hit 911 your phone will automatically recharge for an extra 5 minutes. I felt this was a case of 911. Thanks Cade! I had a drink on the plane and was ready for the boat.

Lucinda and Freddy were celebrating his birthday on their friends boat and had invited me to join them. Lucinda is another result of my friendship with VeeV’s Courtney Reum. I had met her and Freddy once for dinner in LA, but we kept in touch. They are adorable and fun. Originally I thought there was no way I’d still be down under. Now it’s December 12th and we are rushing to Newport where they have the boat making a special stop at the wharf there to pick up me, Gilda, and Jacki Bresic. Thanks to Gilda’s quick driving skills, we made it on time. Thanks to Jacki’s attentive skills for reading the invite that said white party. I was already causing a scene, no need to stand out more in my green dress. I did a backseat change into my white frock but kept on Santa. That hat was keeping me sane!

The next 10 hours were a dream. We were greeted by Lucinda and Freddy, probably the most gorgeous couple I’ve ever met. Cindy kissed us and handed over champagne. Freddy gave a birthday speech filled with thanks and funny tidbits about his friends and family. When he gave me a shout out and thanks for extending my stay for his birthday, I knew the mornings airport drama was SO WORTH IT!

Freddy’s friends were all attractive and too much fun. Of course the Bresic girls knew half the boat and by the end of the trip we all had quite the bonding. I even got Stephen Rich to come join us at the “after boat party”! We got our place to stay when tipsy Gilda said, “Angie don’t forget to call your friend Stephen so we can ask if we can stay at his place tonight!” Stephen was sitting next to me when this was said. Good guy that he is, we still got to stay with him. I feel like I’m a party of Sydney – I mean part of Sydney. I’ve definitely made Sydney friends for life.

Realization: No matter how much it may seem the world is steering you towards disaster, just go with it and have a laugh. Janae dropped my dress in water, Aussies steered me towards the outback rather than the airport, the unnecessary taxis and flights were killing my budget, my shoes, credit card and technology didn’t want to stay with me, but life is still good. I’m on a boat

Your Moment:
Audrina Patridge
Veev
Special thanks to Christian Blencke for photos!

Destination: Taronga Zoo, Sydney

Inspiration: Weeds actor Kevin Nealon sends me to take the ferry to the zoo and ride the gondola!

Actualization: I forgot that the weather from Melbourne always travels to Sydney and so the cool trickles from my Lorne weekend settled on sydney. No surfing for me, but sprinkles and wind were okay when spending time with smelly animals in the weeds of the zoo. Also to offset the somber mood of a cloudy day, being on the water in the ferry made me happy.

I saw just about every animal at the zoo:
Giraffes; who stand with their hind legs crossed over which I liked because I do that a lot too.
Monkey butts; the chimps’ face structure can be hard to decipher from their shape of their butt.
Pelicans; deep thoughts. At the zoo pelicans can get visitors from their non-zoo pelican friends.

Realization: It’s not as fun doing coordinated activities like the zoo when you don’t have a pal around to do silly things like hide in the weeds with you. Tomorrow I’ll drag along a partner in crime.

Your moment:
Taronga Zoo
Showtime: Weeds
Kevin Nealon
Sydney Harbor Ferries

Destination: Paddington Neighborhood, Sydney (Centennial Park, Pearl Jam Concert, Gilda’s Place)

Inspiration: Markus Anderson from Soho House London (they say he’s the Angie Banicki of London or perhaps I’m the Markus of LA. Ha!)

Actualization: Markus knows me better than I thought. There are 3 reasons why Markus tops my list today:

1: His number one thing for me to do in Sydney was meet Gilda. Gilda is amazing. Gilda, her best friend, sister and I drank wine, ate pizza, and talked about boys and travel last night. You cant beat that for a Monday night. It was exactly what I needed. The way Gilda talks about family reminds me a lot of how I feel about mine. She’s the oldest like me. She’s crazy fun, works super hard, and cares a lot about her family.

2: Because of Markus, I was able to get Gilda to go cover my Ben Harper/Pearl Jam moment for me. As I sat on my Virgin Blue flight, she ran over and took my seat at the concert. THANK YOU RHIANNON!! I did everything in my power to get myself to that concert. I even bought TWO FLIGHTS! However, I couldn’t have picked a better candidate to take my spot. She reported back exactly what I wanted to hear. Amazing seats. Some boy next to her flirted with her and got her number…he was Ben Harper’s friend. (In actuality and in Angie form, Gilda said he was shady and got the number pretending to call his friend from her phone.) She was disappointed PJ didn’t play BETTER MAN or DAUGHTER….those are the songs she knows best and me too! She met a cute band. They were sitting in the seats in front of her. Of course, Gilda is cooler than me and was like, “well they’re in a band and they looked familiar but whatever I just kept asking them when Better Man or Daughter would be coming on!” All this and then Gilda came and picked me up from the airport. You cant ask for a better friend.

3: Markus sends me to Centennial Park for a run. Ok fine, I was supposed to feed the cockatoos, but I forgot about that part when I got excited about running. My run was a bit of a hullabaloo. It started off when I ran to where I thought Centennial would be and asked a woman on the street corner if Centennial was ahead. She nodded and said yes. I hesitated worried she hadn’t heard the Centennial part through the rain and asked again. Again she imitated me and pointed across the street and nodded. Hmmmm. As I started running I realized the yes yes and nodding doesn’t mean a thing if you don’t speak English and the same question was asked. Why didn’t I say, “is that a spacecraft yonder in the park?” “are you going running in your dress in the park”. A million things would have worked. Instead I just asked, “this way to Centennial?” In my defense, I think subconsciously I do this because I love running and when I get lost it only forces me to run more. So I end up at the rugby stadiums instead and then when I get to the opposite end, I find myself at the start of Centennial park. Brilliant. Rugby fields were a warm up. I need to burn off the pizza anyway. I keep running and running. Past ponds and horses, soccer practices and old people, I avoid all the midway turns and keep heading farther…. busby pond towards Bondi…..
I look down and realize I’ve lost track of time and I’m going to be late for my facial moment…a scheduled appointment. Eek. I start to plan in my head it’ll be fine. I need to get this run finished and then I’ll just lie and say I got lost and go to the appointment a little late. I mean it is a big park.

News alert: Angie cannot lie without at least part of the lie coming true.

It’s a problem I’ve always had which I suppose thankfully I’m a bad liar. However the times I try to get away with it, like today, somehow I put it in the universe and it happens. I guess that can be a good thing for making positive happen….but when it’s raining and you want to get your tired body home and ready for a facial, you shouldn’t put it out there that you got lost.

Well somehow, I end up on York road. Thinking I’m not far I turn up and I find myself running on broken beer bottles, NOT on Oxford where I need to be and a broken iPod. Battery dead iPod = no music inspiration = Angie cant go. I start walking and come up with this plan. Highly recommend it, turn the iPod music really quiet and pick a non-rap song, one you know the words to, so when iPod dies, you can sing your run on in your head because you can barely tell if it’s still playing or not. My suggestion: Moby – Run On.
Anyway thanks Markus for a good run. I never made the appointment, but again thank god the Aussies are so friendly and I got to reschedule….probably because it was the truth when I told Aussie Sharon that I got lost.

Realization: Don’t plan a lie in your head, unless you are prepared for it to be the truth. I’m thinking about lying that I wont be home till Christmas…..hmmmm

Your moment:
Soho House
Moby
Centennial Park
Ben Harper
Pearl Jam

Harley Pasternak quote: “Definitely eating kangaroo in Sydney…..making Kanye West and i do wind sprints up and down at the Opera house stairs.”

Destination: Opera House Stairs

Inspiration: Everyone needs a Harley Pasternak to tip them off when they travel. I remember when I was sitting on the bike next to Harley and he told me he was leaving for Australia because Kanye wanted a trainer for a few days. I like when inspiration gives me a kick in the butt.

Actualization: I booked those stairs despite my broken ipod….but secretly Harley, I am positive I didn’t do as many as you and Kanye.

Realization: “Work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes us stronger”

Your moment:

Check out Harley Pasternak’s website!
Also have a look at Kanye West’s website!

Destination: Supercross Races to have beer outside the city

Inspiration: Andy Samberg: “Never been. Have the beer?”

Actualization: It’s Saturday Night….Live here in Sydney. It’s down to two pure blondes…premium lager. Beer in Australia tastes good. Janae and I drank beer pre-Super Cross Australasian races. Janae had arranged for a meet and greet with me and Jeremy Mcgrath, a star in the world of supercross. He took pictures and told us about touring and riding his motorbike all over the world. I knew nothing about the sport till that day….but I do like to think that Jeremy’s second place win later felt, in a little way like an Aussie present for me. We decided to retire early this evening, but before we even made it home some sort of bug set in. I tell you this only because of what came next…as soon as we got home I was bent over the toilet…kinda like when they say hugging the seat and I hear a boys voice outside my window saying, “Hey there. Hi. You okay? Hey.”

Barely lifting my head, I mumble yes. Janae from the bedroom begins yelling to him “Get out of here!”.

All this over the club music pounding from one of the four bars below us. The kid doesn’t give up and reaches in through the cracked window making a larger opening, so he can stick his head through. Picture the tall, pasty dude from Knotting Hill, the one who runs around in his tighty whities.
The kid then has the audacity to yell: “Are you sure you’re okay? I have a somewhat inappropriate question but…. can I borrow your laptop for my friend?”

I’ve learned Australians don’t control what comes out of their mouth even if they have to apologize later, kiss your hand, or deal with consequences. They can’t think ahead. Too weak to laugh or yell, I just don’t answer. He repeats. Finally Janae yells “get out of here idiot.” We laughed and cried after that one…at least we had a funny story, but both felt miserable and were already going through possible diagnosis; swine flu, beer allergies, bad fish?

Realization: Saturday nights should be kept for watching SNL. Take a break when you need it especially when traveling!  NBC.com/SNL