Destination: Toolie Weekend in the small town of Lorne (they call kids on summer break schoolies down under….and then there are those older chaps who celebrate like schoolies…toolies, my mates for the weekend.
Inspiration: Lil Jon sends us drinking and Janae’s Melbourne toolie friends help fulfill this inspiration.
Actualization: Steph Brown takes us down to her boyfriend Luke’s Lorne summer home.
In order to really prepare myself to go to Lil Jon Saturday evening, I go for a run along the ocean. Small towns are the best. I ran over a white picket bridge where a couple was shooting their wedding photos. I ran past the fishermen on the pier. I sweat out all the toxins as I prepared for the retoxification. Stop reading Mom and don’t cry. I was safe and went to sleep before causing too much destruction to my body.
Lil Jon style Gangsta Grillz album no 9 we went to a gangster’s home where they brought out the grill. We headed to Jack’s house for a barbie with the spit (bbq with a grill). Hardly gangster, Jack was a spitting image of Adam Banicki, my little brother. I was showing everyone photos of Adam Banicki to see the resemblance. I think that’s why I loved Jack and felt at home right away. He was sooo easygoing and personable and I adored him like a lil bro and you need a lil bro around for a Lil Jon moment. Jack’s barbie was kinda like Josh Johnson’s house bbq sophomore year in Oregon, Illinois, the boys had the beer bongs, the spit (aka grill) was out and everyone just boozed and laughed at one another doing silly things like hula hooping. The boys at the barbie had a game if you knock over the beerbong you have to bong the beer. Mr. Max Cooke tricked me into knocking into the beer bong.
My absolute favorite part of the night was teaching the guys how to do a kegstand. I mean you can’t even compare the beer bong to a kegstand. I’m always the late bloomer and didn’t even do my first kegstand till after college…probably not something I should admit…I mean the fact that I was doing kegstands post age 22. Anyway, it’s always fun to be the foreigner teaching the locals a new trick, in my case drinking game. We arranged the keg and cooler and convinced our Adam Banicki lookalike, who was also tall like Adam Banicki, to let us hold up his legs while he drank. It was so much fun that the boys then grabbed hot Jamie, the one you always want around, and hoisted him up to drink. The boys were all pretty proud of themselves for these accomplishments.
Realization: “Snap ya fingers! Do ya step! You can do it all by yo self!” After hours of bongs, brother-like boy bonding, hoola hooping and dance party USA (or AU), the mission for Lil Jon, (my drink till you pass out) was completed. I def got myself drunk…but this drunk toolie enjoyed the hangover day watching Robin Hood and Christian Slater with the crew much more than wasted night before….well except for those kegstands which cannot be done by yo self.